ICE trains rock

Deutsche Bahn’s Inter City Express (ICE) trains are basically a subway for the nation of Germany. They’re super fast (sometimes over 200 mph), quiet, comfortable and clean. If all you’ve ever known is Amtrak, these slick machines will blow you away. And they’ll probably be your chosen means of conveyance to move around the country.
As convenient as the ICE trains are, navigating them can be a bit weird, confusing, and, well, German. Here are a few tips to make your ride on the ICE pleasant and hassle-free.
Buy your train tickets online
The DB Navigator app is the best way to buy German train tickets. Use it like an airline app to schedule one-way and round-trip dates, plan connections, and find special offers to save you a few Euros. You can also use the app to check in electronically, eliminating the need for a conductor to come to your seat and scowl at you suspiciously while you fumble for your ticket.
German trains run on time…sorta.
By US rail standards, these trains are pretty punctual. By German standards maybe not so much. On my recent ICE trips between Berlin, Nuremberg, and Munich, each train arrived 10-15 minutes late. That’s no big deal for point-to-point trips, but if you’re making a tight connection, it could be enough time to make you miss your next train. If possible, schedule your connecting train at least an hour after your expected arrival time.
Have Reservations
Unlike many rail services, ICE lets you reserve seats in advance for a moderate fee. Basically, you can select your seat on the DB Navigator app like you do an airplane seat. Do this or you’ll likely get displaced along the way by a miffed passenger who had the presence of mind to make a reservation.
At peak times, all seats may fill up, forcing you to stand in the vestibule like a naughty school child. Actually, this being a German train, I can guarantee there will be plenty of naughty schoolchildren around you as well. In my experience, German kids are loud and awful on public transportation and their parents do little to rein them in.
Food and drink? DB has you covered.
ICE trains have awesome cafe cars. The food isn’t bad, considering it’s being served on a train. They heat up the main dishes behind the counter, and the beer is cold and reasonably priced. If you order at the cafe register, you can take your comestibles back to your seat or stand at one of the little table-shelf thingies.
One big Nein-Nein, however: DON’T buy food at the counter and think you can take it over to those nice sit-down tables just behind. That is the Bord-Bistro, and it’s a full-service sit-down restaurant. If you bring your plebian cafe food in, they will scold you and make you leave. You are, however, perfectly welcome to go in and have a seat. The Kellnerin will be along shortly to take your order.
Download those movies
So ICE trains have internet the way airplanes have internet. It’s there, but it’s glacially slow, basically adequate for checking your email or posting cat memes. For multi-hour journeys, you’re best off downloading your media in advance. Also, the Deutsche Bahn web portal, which you’ll encounter upon connecting, has a bunch of cool German and English-language podcasts and shows to choose from. These always seem to work just fine.
Have a pleasant journey
Once you’re nestled in your comfy seat, you can relax and stare out the window at Germany wooshing by. ICE is so much more convenient and comfortable than fighting your way through airports and low-cost airline misery. You’ll arrive at the main train station, and be right in the thick of the action when you pull up to the platform. After experiencing ICE, you might have a new perspective on how awesome high-speed rail could be if you had it back home.
Next up: S-tacular!: Navigating city transport